Family and Friends Orientation

Finding a healthy balance between independence and connection

Determine what is best for you and your student—Strong family and friends involvement (most needed at the beginning of the first year of college) or little family and friends involvement (back off completely and allow your student to learn by immersion).

Supporting their growth and independence and being a stable force in their changing world

Expect that your student will not respond to all your contacts but will appreciate hearing from you.

Connect and check in:

• Communicate
• Share about yourself
• Ask open-ended questions
• Allow for mistakes
• Guide but don’t pressure
• Be available to help
• Listen
• Express interest
• Reinforce strengths
• State expectations regarding finances, contact, academics, drugs/alcohol

1. Share about yourself
2. What have you discussed about this with them?

Preparing for new viewpoints and perspectives

College may challenge prior belief systems; this stage in life is about learning and growing as a person.

• Allow your student to explore new ideas without being judgmental.
• Accept that changes in viewpoints, behavior, dress, eating/sleeping habits, and relationships with family and friends are expected during the college years
• If you suspect some of these changes may be a sign of a bigger problem refer your student to the appropriate resources for help. Trust your instincts.

Understanding College Student Development (Chickering & Reisser)

• Developing Competence: “Can I make it here?”
• Managing Emotions: “How do I handle my feelings?”
• Moving Toward Interdependence: “How do I become a responsible adult?”
• Developing Mature Interpersonal Relationships: “Connecting with others?”
• Establishing Identity: “Who am I?”
• Developing Purpose: “What is my future?”
• Developing Integrity: “What are my values?”

What strengths, do you think your student brings with them to college, and what area(s) do you think you they will grow in while in college?

1. Strengths
2. Areas of development

Unlike high school, in college, a student’s record is only available to the student without the student’s written consent to share their records with anyone else: parent, significant other, etc. This can be done when the student fills out the ‘Information of Authorization’ form included in their Orientation packet on campus or online Orientation.

A federal law that sets privacy standards for student educational records.
Includes ALL DATA related to grade reports, transcripts, billing/financial aid information, payments, & accomplishments- also things like:

• Warning, Probation, Suspension
• Counseling (If there is a threat to self or others, the Dean of Students will make the determination to contact parents/family.)
• Discipline

To find out your student’s grades please ask them directly. It is the student’s option to sign an authorization of information waiver that gives parents/guardians/significant others access to all their records.

August

• Adjusting to new life, new responsibilities, relationships, and freedoms
• May be homesick at times due to separation from family and friends
• May be insecure about fitting in, navigating surroundings, or being as smart as others
• Necessary financial aid application (FAFSA) due with required documents

What you can do:

• Accept your role may change as a parent/guardian to more of a mentoring role (with less control).
• Encourage your student to be independent and decline to come to the rescue so students learn to solve their own problems. This will show you have confidence in them.
• Encourage your student to join clubs, student groups and sports and to attend campus events.
• Address finances in paying for courses or student will be dropped from courses.

September

• May have trouble managing time
• May learn that what worked for high school academics won’t necessarily work for college
• May limit themselves by staying connected only with high school friends instead of developing new friendships

What you can do:

• Be prepared for your student to vent frustrations and fears. This is normal!
• Respond with confidence in your student’s abilities.
• Provide time-management techniques or refer to a counselor, advisor, or the tutoring center.

October

• May be stressed about tests, midterms, and time to study and complete coursework
• May receive poor grades on tests, papers, or projects due to inexperience
• Will be learning to manage money and budget
• Needs to register for spring semester

What you can do:

• Be sympathetic but let the student fix any problems.
• Help your student be realistic about academic achievement.
• Help your student establish a budget.
• Direct students to campus resources to address academic and personal issues

November

• Stress levels are high with midterms, papers, and projects due
• Procrastinators may panic in falling behind on courses

What you can do:

• Be supportive and encouraging. Send a care package.
• Do not be surprised if you hear from your student less as they may be meeting course demands.
• Do not focus on grades. Ask what they are learning.
• Ask your student about upcoming spring term courses.

December

• Very little time left before final exams
• Papers and projects are due and may be the longest, most involved academic work your student has ever done.
• A very stressful time in which students tend to have less sleep and les self-care (nutrition, exercise)
• Grades will be posted, and students may feel disappointed or delighted.

What you can do:

• Encourage healthy eating and exercise.
• Encourage student to participate in study break and stress-reduction activities.
• Discuss with your student the home rules for the upcoming break (time spent with family, curfew, responsibilities)
• Remind your student they now have a better understanding of what is required in future courses. Family/friends reactions to grades weigh heavily on the student and influence their stress levels going into a new semester.

January

• Students return to classes with new instructors and courses.
• Students can join a new club or campus organization.
• Students may have intention to change study habits, time management, and more to improve academically due to previous semester experience.

What you can do:

• Be supportive regardless of grades. If student is struggling academically, refer them to LSC resources for help.
• Remind your student to keep up with coursework as procrastination is not helpful.

February

• May feel depressed as winter continues and neglect health and exercise
• May make plans for spring break

What you can do:

• Encourage being active to stave off the winter blues, and if it’s something more serious, refer student to LSC or external resources to cope.
• Discuss family and friend expectations of this time (where and money spent).
• Encourage student to connect with course instructors during office hours, which are posted on course syllabus that every student receives, as an additional support.

March

• May be stressed about test, midterms, and time management
• Registration for summer and fall semesters begins
• May feel pressured to declare major if undecided/uncertain of current program of study.
• May begin thinking about summer employment
• May be concerned with returning home to live with parents/family in the summer
• Should begin or complete FAFSA (financial aid application) for next year

What you can do:

• Direct student to campus resources for additional academic support.
• Encourage your student to meet with an advisor to register for classes.
• If student is undecided, refer them to Counseling Services for career exploration.
• Trust that your student will make decision that are best for their future.
• Have your student check their Eservices account for FAFSA status.

April

• Midterm exams, papers, and projects are coming due, thus increasing stress.
• Concentrating on academics becomes harder with warm-weather distractions.

What you can do:

• Be supporting and encouraging.
• Do not be surprised if you hear from students less. Your student may be meeting course demands.
• Try not to focus on grades. Ask what they are learning.

May

• Very little time left before final exams
• Papers and projects are due and may be the longest, most involved academic work your student has ever done.
• A very stressful time in which students tend to have less sleep and les self-care (nutrition, exercise)
• Grades will be posted, and students may feel disappointed or delighted.

What you can do:

• Encourage healthy eating and exercise.
• Encourage student to participate in study break and stress-reduction activities.
• Discuss with your student the home rules for the upcoming break (time spent with family, curfew, responsibilities)
• Remind your student they now have a better understanding of what is required in future courses. Parent reactions to grades weigh heavily on the student and influence their stress levels going into a new semester.

• Free, citywide transportation is available through the Duluth Transit Authority with an LSC student ID. There’s no excuse to miss class!
• If there is an address/contact information change, please have your student contact the LSC Records Office.
• If your student has a documented disability and would benefit from accommodations, please have them self-advocate and contact Disability Services for a confidential intake.
• The Tutoring and Learning Center has free tutors available in a variety of subjects! Additional free learning services are available.
• Academic Advisors are assigned based on the student’s declared area of study and are located in Student Services.
• Classes your student registers for are determined by their specific area of study (consult the program guide) or are of personal interest to the student. It is possible your student may only register for classes that are not required.
• Lake Superior College Safety and Security Reports and Statistics are available online.

College is a time of growth and change in gaining life skills to become successful, independent adults.

Family/friends can be an essential source of support and encouragement.

Family/friends should allow their student room to fail and experience disappointments, to understand the consequences of his/her actions, and to prepare for the “real world.”

Thank you for the support you provide for your Lake Superior College student.